Check-in date fast approaching

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything so it wouldn't surprise me if people quit checking Julia's blog. For those who still stop by, here's the latest plan of attack.

Since Julia has been in feeding therapy for two years and still has issues, we've decided to do the inpatient therapy program at Our Children's House. Its a huge commitment and frankly, I'm pretty nervous. I'm excited to start the program but in the back of my mind I am constantly thinking "what if.....what if?" What if we don't succeed? What if Julia never learns to chew properly? What if she can never gain weight without the gtube? What if we have to send her to school with the gtube? My husband says I'm neurotic for being like that. I'm the kind of person that needs a plan; a backup plan; and a back up to the backup plan. I have to know exactly what will happen and what the result should be. If that doesn't work then I always have an expected back up result. Ah, if life worked according to my outline/plans then all would be good.

So, about the program. It's 4-6 weeks and we have to LIVE at the facility. Julia is not allowed to leave at all but we can. They encourage the parents to take breaks and get out for a while. Julia will be assigned a nurse and a nurse aid so they will watch her while we take a breather. I've always been told the inpatient program is intense but I never understood why. Now I do. I was picturing the therapists holding Julia down, being aggressive, etc. but the intensiveness is really directed at the parents. It's a huge commitment. We are required to feed Julia five meals a day (breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner) and in between meals, she'll have speech and occupational therapy. For 4-6 weeks, we are in training five times a day. Never a "day off." The program focuses on removing Julia from her familiar environment and literally retraining her and her behaviors. It's the same thing for us. We are starting from scratch. We toured the facility last week and I was pleasantly surprised. The psychologist told us that it's important for the facility to be kid-friendly and it is. They have lots of things for kids to do. TV and video room, play ground, library and indoor play rooms. Now for the things I don't like. Before I get to that, I'll start off with "I know the program isn't about providing comfort for parents but.....The rooms are small hospital rooms and not the huge delivery rooms that look like a hotel. Julia will sleep in a hospital bed and lucky us - we get to sleep on the vinyl fold down couch. That sounds bad but it gets worse. We might have to share a room. OK, that's bad but not the worst thing. What really freaks me out is that there are NO bathrooms in the rooms. There are two or three bathrooms we'll be sharing. Using the same bathroom and shower with a stranger creeps me out. Germ-city. That will take some getting use to. I try and stay focused on our goal. Oh, forgot to mention the steps of our feeding plan. Times are approximate.

Week 1: therapists feed Julia w/o us there
Week 2: therapists feed Julia and we watch from a 2-way mirror
Week 3: therapists feed Julia with us in the room
Week 4: We feed Julia with the therapist in the room
Week 5: We feed Julia while the therapist watches from the 2-way mirror

We check in on January 8th; Julia's birthday. What a birthday gift. Instead of having a birthday party, I'm planning a welcome home party. She's too young to realize she's missing out on a birthday party so why not wait and throw a big party when she comes home?

So, that's our scoop. I apologize if my post doesn't make sense or if I rambled on but I'm tired.