What day is it?

The days have started to blend together. I can't remember how long we've been here. It seems like forever. Julia ended her stand-off and we started seeing a lot of progress. It lifted our spirits and we were certain the progress would continue. It all went down hill when it was our turn to feed Julia while the therapist watched. It's a beating. The fighting, crying, and cute comments have returned. What makes this whole thing especially hard is that we're being taught how to "remain neutral" and not engage with our cute monster. Sounds easy but let me tell you; it sucks. I don't know of any other way to describe it (without using curse words). Here's a couple of examples of what we're dealing with right now. Feel free to comment and let me know how you would feel if you were sitting in our shoes. I was feeding Julia breakfast yesterday and she's yelling, crying, and pushing the cup away. I was standing firm (while thinking of those colorful curse words) so she started pushing harder. By the end of our session she was pushing the cup so hard that I was literally covered with Pediasure. I'm ready to flip out and I'm considering choking her but I have a therapist sitting next to me saying "Remain neutral and ignore her behavior. Don't take the cup away." Suddenly, my thoughts of choking Julia turned to me choking the therapist. Dinner wasn't any easier. She cried hysterically and Darrin could do nothing but sit and watch her; oh yeah, and tried to remain neutral. Darrin and I have talked about packing up and taking Julia home but we won't because it's not in her best interest. Even though we'd love to home, it will be just as horrible when we get there. We have been assured she will try and revert back to her old ways but we can't give in.

I really don't know how much more we can take.